Finding Safety Within: A Guide to Embodied Somatic Safety and Stability

As a student of marriage and family therapy, I have the privilege of witnessing how deeply interconnected we are—within ourselves, our relationships, and our broader environments. From a systemic perspective, everything is relational. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our sense of safety and stability is constantly shaped by the relationships we have with others, our environments, and even our own bodies.

This relational lens is central to understanding how we cultivate somatic safety, attunement, and internal stability. Feeling safe is not just an individual process; it is profoundly influenced by the relational systems we’re part of. These systems—family, partnerships, friendships, communities—serve as mirrors and containers for our emotional and somatic experiences.

The journey to somatic safety is not only personal but also relational. This is why I encourage my clients to approach their healing with both inner work and relational awareness. In this blog, we’ll explore how somatic practices can help you feel safer, more attuned, and more stable within yourself—and how these practices can ripple out to transform your relationships.

The Relational Nature of Safety

From a systems perspective, safety is co-created. Our nervous systems are wired for connection, and we often regulate or dysregulate in response to those around us. Think about how a comforting conversation with a loved one can calm you, while a tense interaction can leave you feeling unsettled. This process, called co-regulation, is one of the most powerful ways we influence one another’s well-being.

But relationships are not the only factor. Our sense of safety also depends on how we relate to ourselves and our environments. Are we kind to ourselves, or do we criticize? Does our physical space feel comforting, or does it create stress? Every relationship we engage in—whether with others, our surroundings, or our inner world—affects our ability to feel safe.

This understanding underscores the importance of somatic practices. By intentionally working on internal safety, we not only benefit ourselves but also create a more stable, attuned presence for the people we care about.

12 Monthly Practices for Somatic Safety Through a Relational Lens

To support your journey, here’s a year-long plan to incorporate somatic practices—aligned with the seasons and grounded in relational systems thinking. Each practice builds internal stability while enhancing your relational connections.

January: Grounding Techniques

• Relational Focus: Start the year by grounding yourself so you can bring calm energy to your relationships. When you feel stable, those around you benefit too.

• Practice: Try grounding exercises like standing barefoot and imagining roots growing into the earth. Share this practice with a partner or loved one to co-regulate.

February: Breathwork

• Relational Focus: Use breathwork to pause and regulate during moments of relational tension. A calm breath can create space for a more thoughtful response.

• Practice: Practice box breathing during conflict or stressful moments. Encourage a loved one to try it with you for shared calm.

March: Somatic Movement

• Relational Focus: Movement helps release tension, which can otherwise spill into your interactions. Mindful movement can also be a shared activity with a partner or family.

• Practice: Try yoga or tai chi together, focusing on how your body feels. If solo, notice how movement influences your mood in relationships.

April: Body Awareness

• Relational Focus: Tuning into your body helps you identify and communicate your needs more effectively in relationships.

• Practice: Use a weekly body scan to notice where you hold tension. Share insights with a partner to deepen understanding and attunement.

May: Co-Regulation

• Relational Focus: Relationships thrive when we co-regulate. Spend intentional time with people who help you feel calm and safe.

• Practice: Schedule quality time with a loved one. Practice deep listening and attuned presence to support mutual regulation.

June: Mindful Touch or Self-Soothing

• Relational Focus: Touch strengthens bonds, whether through self-soothing or shared physical affection.

• Practice: Place your hand on your chest during moments of self-compassion. If appropriate, offer a loved one a hug or hold hands to co-regulate.

July: Nature Connection

• Relational Focus: Connecting with nature can enhance your relational systems by grounding you and providing a shared space for connection.

• Practice: Spend time outdoors with a loved one. Walk barefoot on grass together or sit in silence, observing the natural world.

August: Daily Routines

• Relational Focus: Routines create predictability, which can enhance relational stability. Shared routines build connection and trust.

• Practice: Establish a morning or evening routine with a partner or family member, like stretching together or sharing gratitude at dinner.

September: Self-Compassion Practices

• Relational Focus: Self-compassion fosters resilience and reduces reactivity in relationships. When you’re kinder to yourself, you’re often kinder to others.

• Practice: Use loving-kindness meditation, focusing on sending compassion to yourself and then to loved ones.

October: Vagal Nerve Stimulation

• Relational Focus: A regulated nervous system helps you respond calmly in relational conflicts.

• Practice: Practice humming or singing with a loved one—activities that stimulate the vagus nerve and promote connection.

November: Create a Safe Environment

• Relational Focus: A safe, calming home environment supports emotional regulation for everyone in the space.

• Practice: Create a cozy corner with blankets, calming scents, and soft lighting. Invite family members to join you in this space for moments of rest.

December: Expressive Practices

• Relational Focus: Expressing your emotions helps you communicate authentically in relationships and process shared experiences.

• Practice: Journal about your relational growth throughout the year. Consider a shared creative activity, like painting or dancing, with a loved one.

Safety Is a Shared Experience

Somatic safety is never isolated. It flows through our relationships with ourselves, others, and our environments. By intentionally incorporating these practices into your life—and recognizing their relational impact—you can create a ripple effect of safety, attunement, and stability in your relationships.

As you embark on this year-long journey, remember: healing is a shared experience. The more you invest in your own well-being, the more you contribute to the well-being of those around you.

What somatic practice are you most excited to explore this year? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear how these ideas resonate with you.