Welcome to the first blog post of Hearthstone Haven! Today, I’d like to share my thoughts on the seasons of change, identity loss, and the powerful journey of solidifying one’s identity—topics close to my heart as I navigate my path as a marriage and family therapy student.
Life often feels like a mystical forest, filled with winding paths, enchanting moments, and daunting obstacles. For many, the journey starts with dreams of a perfect family and harmonious relationships. However, I discovered that reality can often lead us into unexpected thickets where we may feel lost or disconnected from our true selves.
In my own life, I’ve experienced the aching reality of identity loss. Like many, I envisioned a shining future filled with love and acceptance. When my life didn't align with that vision, I made a heartfelt agreement with myself: I would transform those dreams into reality, no matter the cost. In chasing this ideal, I discovered I had been pleading for validation from others, whether they were family, friends, or the institutions I once believed in.
As I navigated through these tangled paths, I realized I was merely piecing together fragments of everyone else’s dreams, attempting to fit square pegs into round holes. This quest for external validation left me feeling miserable and disconnected. I wandered through the dark woods, where my mind and body often sang different tunes while my soul silently cried out. I began to question my worth and the core of my identity.
The wilderness began when I graduated from Bible College, only to grapple with my faith and trust after leaving a toxic church that spiritually abused me and my family. A system of belief that had once brought me solace. In this tumultuous time, I began my master’s program in Marriage and Family Therapy. This experience became a beacon of hope illuminating my path, freeing me from the agreements and expectations that weighed so heavily on my heart.
Through my studies, I began to understand that I am not inherently bad, that my heart is not evil, and that I can trust both my mind and body. I discovered the strength that comes from solidifying my identity, independently of the influences that had shaped my past. I realized I am just as worthy and valuable as anyone else, regardless of societal or familial pressures.
This understanding has paved the way for profound transformation, leading me to create Hearthstone Haven as a sanctuary for healing and acceptance. A place where others can embark on their journeys of self-discovery, free from judgment and filled with support.
Beginning in August 2025, I will be eligible to apply for my Marriage and Family Therapy Associate Permit. This means the support I can offer here at the Hearth will deepen, and I will be able to practice as a therapist under the supervision of a licensed therapist.
So, as we embrace the seasons of change together, I encourage you to reflect on your journey. Are there aspects of your identity that need nurturing or redefining? Have you ever felt lost in the pursuit of fitting into someone else’s expectations? Remember that it’s okay to wander, explore, and question. Through this process, you can uncover the beauty of your authentic self.
Let's honor the beauty of transformation in the spirit of the changing seasons. As fall turns to winter, we let go, like the trees of the forest. We are releasing beliefs, expectations, and assumptions that keep us in patterns of our past and into the darkness of the winter season of introspection and growth, navigating love, loss, and everything in between. May we find the strength to reclaim our identities and embrace who we truly are. Thank you for joining me on this adventure, and I look forward to exploring the wonders of our journeys together at Hearthstone Haven.
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